傲娇脾气Lv8 初入说偶网 2015-01-18 13:33:37
OLD WANTS never die， they become needs
OLD WATCHMAKERS never die， they just run out of time
OLD WATCHMAKERS never die， they just unwind
OLD WATCHMAKERS never die， they just wind down
OLD WEATHERMEN never die， they reign forever
OLD WHITE WATER RAFTERS never die， they
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鱼街旧情书Lv5 初入说偶网 2015-01-17 05:32:38
有个人开车行驶在上班的路上，一辆卡车闯红灯从侧面撞上了他的车，当时他就不省人事了……
A man was driving to work when a truck ran a stop sign ... hit his car broadside， and knocked him cold. Passerbys pulled him from the wreck and revived him. He began a terrific struggle and had to be tranquilized by the medics. Later， when he was c
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多来理发少拉稀 *Lv8 初入说偶网 2015-01-17 02:49:03
At the cleaner's， I noticed the sign "In by 10 a. m. ， out by 5 p. m. " so I told the owner that I wanted to pick my clothing up at five. "it won't be ready，" he said.
"But your sign says， 'In by 10 a. m. ， out by 5 p. m.'，" I reminded him.
"Oh，" he replied， "that
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听夜风吹笛Lv8 初入说偶网 2015-01-15 17:43:45
A Sunday school teacher was telling her pupils the importance of making others glad. "Now， children，" said she ， "has anyone of you ever make someone else glad?"
"Please， teacher，"said a small boy，"I've make someone glad yesterday."
"Well done. Who was that?"
"My granny."……
风光Lv8 初入说偶网 2015-01-10 19:02:41
"Can you explain to me what the difference is between a high-pitched and low-pitched voice?”
"A high-pitched voice is when my father scolds me；a low-pitched voice is when my father speaks with his boss.”
旧友Lv5 初入说偶网 2015-01-08 15:06:22
Tommy: How is your little brother， Johnny?
汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗?
Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.
约翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了伤。
Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?
汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿?
Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window， and he won.
约
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再浓的妆也掩不了殇Lv8 初入说偶网 2015-01-05 18:40:38
Keep feeding him nickels
A mother saw her three-year-old son put nickel in his mouth and swallowed it. She immediately picked hime up， turned him upside down and hit him on the back， whereupon he coughed up two dimes. Frantically， she called to the father outside. "Your son just swallowed a
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年华未央べLv8 初入说偶网 2015-01-02 19:20:38
Two Pieces of Cake
Tom: Mom， can I have two pieces of cake， please?
Mom: Certainly -- take this piece and cut it two!
两块蛋糕
汤姆：妈妈，我可以吃两块蛋糕吗？
妈妈：当然可以----拿这块蛋糕把它切成两块吧！
伴你久久Lv8 初入说偶网 2015-01-01 18:26:43
Funniest joke of the Edinburgh Fringe Festival named
华裔小哥荣获爱丁堡国际艺穗节笑话奖
A joke about the new pound coin has been named the funniest of the Edinburgh Festival Fringe.
一句关于新英镑硬币的笑话当选2017爱丁堡艺穗节最佳冷笑话，作者是一位名叫Ken Cheng的华裔喜剧演员。
Ken Cheng won the 10th annual award for&nbs
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毕傹我才⒊岁呀Lv8 初入说偶网 2014-12-31 12:48:00
Peter was telling a friend that he had just lost his job.
"Why did the foreman（领班） fire you?" the friend asked in surprise.
"Oh，" Peter said， "you know how foreman are. They stand around with their hands in their pockets watching everybody else work."
"We all kn
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容颜不毁白衫如初Lv5 初入说偶网 2014-12-30 11:52:49
unexpected guests were on the way， and my mother， an impeccable housekeeper， rushed around straightening up.
不速之客就在路上，我妈妈，一个完美的家庭主妇，正忙里忙外地整理。
she put my father and brother to work cleaning the guest bathroom.
她分配给我爸和我哥哥的任务是打扫供客人使用的浴室。
later， when she went to inspect it， sh
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只为博得蓝颜笑Lv5 初入说偶网 2014-12-27 22:31:35
Son: "Dad， you are available to you on Friday afternoon?"
Dad: "What ah?"
Son: "mini-school parents have to open the forum!"
Dad: "What is micro-parents forum?"
Son: "It's only a class， you and I participate in!"
儿子：“爸爸，星期五下午您有空吗？”
爸爸：“什么事啊？”
儿子：“学校要
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不冷不热Lv8 初入说偶网 2014-12-23 09:32:53
It's not my fault
Mother (reprimanding训斥，谴责 her small daughter): You mustn't pull the cat's tail.
Daughter: I'm only holding it， Mom. The cat's doing the pulling.
不是我的错
妈妈（正教训她的女儿）：你不该拽猫的尾巴。
女儿：妈，我只是握着猫尾巴，它自己在拽。
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礼之用，和为贵Lv8 初入说偶网 2014-12-19 01:25:11
When a student failed to solve a math problem in class， he expressed his regret to his teacher. "I remember solving the problem in my dream last night， but for the time being I've forgotten it . What can that mean?"
"It means that you are more intelligent in dreams than when you are aw
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放轻松Lv5 初入说偶网 2014-12-16 11:38:39
The Looney Bin Late one night at the insane asylum (疯人院）one inmate shouted， "I am Napoleon！”
一天晚上，在疯人院里，一个病人说：“我是拿破仑！”
Another one said， "How do you know?"
另一个说：“你怎么知道？”
The first inmate said， "God told me!"
第一个人说：“上帝对我说的！”
Just then， a voice from another room
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一生热爱!Lv8 初入说偶网 2014-12-15 21:26:41
A man enters a restaurant， takes a seat， and， instead of using the napkin， takes the table cloth from the table and tucks it around his neck.
The head waiter sees it and tells the waiter to go and tell him， in a diplomatic way， that what he did was incorrect.
The waiter goes to the ma
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跟哥混社会流血又流泪Lv8 初入说偶网 2014-12-12 19:49:38
人之初 ：At the beginning of life.(英翻中:生命的起初)
性本善 ：Sex is good.(白话文:性是美好的)
性相近 ：Basically， all the sex are same.(英翻中:基本上，所有的性行为是差不多滴)
习相远 ：But it depends on how the way you do it.(英翻中:但还是得依照个人的喜好而为之)
苟不教 ：If you do not practice all the time.(英翻中:若你不随时勤炼精进)
性乃迁 ：Sex will
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青山深深Lv5 初入说偶网 2014-12-11 23:05:13
A couple goes out to dinner to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary. On the way home， she notices a tear in his eye and asks if he‘s getting sentimental because they‘re celebrating 50 wonderful years together. He replies， "No， I was thinking about the time before we got married. Your father t
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狂的有型Lv8 初入说偶网 2014-12-11 03:54:15
Kate: Mom， do you know what I'm going to give you for your birthday?
Mom: No， Honey， what?
Kate: A nice teapot.
Mom: But I've got a nice teapot.
Kate: No， you haven't. I've just dropped it.
凯特：妈妈，你知道我要给你一件什么生日礼物吗？
妈妈：不知道，宝贝，是什么呀？
凯特：一把
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春雨青森Lv5 初入说偶网 2014-12-06 18:54:36
A farmer and his son， traveling by horse and buggy up a narrow lane， met a motorist going the other way. There was no room to pass for two miles in either direction. The motorist， in hurry， honked his horn .
"If you don't back up，" said the farmer， rolling up his sleeves， I won't
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