拽得有资本Lv8 初入说偶网 2015-02-26 07:59:43
考试结束后，a：“考得如何？”
b：“一团糟。”
a：“踢球那么好，为什么考试就不行呢？”
b：“踢球有人配合呀。”
嫉妒魔女Lv5 初入说偶网 2015-02-24 02:10:10
A man enters a barber shop for a shave.
While the barber is foaming him up， he mentions the problem he has getting a close shave around his cheeks.
"I have just the thing，" says the barber， taking a small wooden ball from a nearby drawer. "Just place this between your cheek and gum.”<
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分手私信Lv8 初入说偶网 2015-02-19 10:48:08
One evening I drove my husband's car to the shopping mall.
On my return， I noticed that how dusty the outside of his car was and cleaned it up a bit.When I finally entered the house， I called out.'The woman who loves
you the most in the world just cleaned your headlights and
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许诺过一生爱你Lv8 初入说偶网 2015-02-17 12:57:47
There was an old man whose family could no longer afford to take care of him. So the family decided that a nusring for the aged would be appropriate.
Of course the old man rejected the idea， but no sooner he was convinced that it was the right thing to do. On his first day at the home， he s
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り我、爱你Lv8 初入说偶网 2015-02-15 18:46:23
Little brother: I saw you kiss my elder sister， and if you don't give me a nickel I'll tell my father.Sister's boyfriend: No， don't do that. Here's a nickel.Little brother: That makes a buck and a quarter I've made this month.
弟弟：我看见你亲我姐姐了，如果你不给我五分钱，我就告诉我爸。姐姐的男
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笔笔直直Lv8 初入说偶网 2015-02-14 10:36:43
Caller: "I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just realised that I need it. If I turn my system clock back two weeks will I have my file back again?".
万世孤清Lv8 初入说偶网 2015-02-13 22:52:49
A friend of mine who teachs European history at Washington University in St.Louis tell about the time he spotted a plagiarized term paper.He summoned the student to his office.
我有个朋友在圣路易斯的华盛顿大学教欧洲历史，他说有一次他发现了一篇抄袭的学期论文.他把那个学生叫到了办公室.
"This isn't your work." he said."Someone typed i
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眩晕の智障仙女Lv8 初入说偶网 2015-02-13 03:50:25
As the taxi came to a screeching（尖叫） halt at a traffic light， I asked the driver， "Do you agree that 'Time is money'?"
"Well， it's a very common saying. Who will care so much about that?" the driver answered.
"Look， the digits in the meter（仪表）……
一抹泪光ヽ诉尽百般思念Lv8 初入说偶网 2015-02-08 15:07:22
One day， John was back home after work. He found that his wife was shaking their daughter who was only half a year old. She said "Da-Dy" to the baby many times. John felt very happy because he thought his wife chose the word "Dady" to teach their baby.
During one night several weeks later，
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幻想交易狂Lv5 初入说偶网 2015-02-08 08:21:02
Son: Is it true， Dad， I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?
Dad: That happens in every country， son.
儿子：爸爸，听说在非洲的一些地方男人在结婚前根本不认识他的妻子。
父亲：孩子，实际上所有的国家都是这样的。
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Star时光Lv8 初入说偶网 2015-02-06 11:05:32
Things Have Been Okay
A young couple were becoming anxious about their four-year-old son， who had not yet talked. They took him to specialists， but the doctors found nothing wrong with him. Then one morning at breakfast the boy suddenly blurted， Mom， the toast is burned.
You talked! Y
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寄鹿情书Lv8 初入说偶网 2015-02-05 23:45:41
Two vampire bats wake up in the middle of the night， thirsty for blood.One says， "Let‘s fly out of the cave and get some blood.”
"We‘re new here，" says the second one."It‘s dark out， and we don‘t know where to look.We‘d better wait until the other bats go with us.”
The first bat repli
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萝莉萌Lv8 初入说偶网 2015-02-04 20:11:58
Three pastors in the south were having lunch in a diner. One said， You know， since summer started I’ve been having trouble with bats in my loft(阁楼) and attic at church. I’ve tried everything----noise， spray， cats----nothing seems to scare them away.
三个南部的牧师在一家小餐馆里吃午饭。其中的一个说道：“你们
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你是我唯一的执着﹏。Lv8 初入说偶网 2015-02-03 00:36:02
Julie was saying her bedtime prayers. "Please God，" she said， "Make Naples the capital of Italy. Make Naples the capital of Italy."
Her mother interrupted and said， "Julie， why do you want God to make Naples the capital of Italy?"
And Julie replied， "Because that's what I put in
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红颜独笑芬芳Lv8 初入说偶网 2015-01-27 04:13:22
Stopping in an unfamiliar barber shop for a shave， a young playboy took a fancy to the manicure gril and suggested dinner and a show that evening.
the girl demurred，" I don't think I ought to， I'm married."
"Why don't you ask your husband，" the playboy suggested." I&apo
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旧人离情余温Lv5 初入说偶网 2015-01-25 23:30:30
2004年克里与布什竞选总统的时候，曾经在媒体面前公开宣称：布什其实是个傻瓜。其后布什当选总统，克里被联邦法院控告，罪名有两条：第一，污蔑国家领导人；第二，泄露国家机密。
一天拉登给布什打电话：
拉登：“我有两个消息要告诉你，一个好的，一个坏的，你要听哪个。”
布什：“那就先说好消息吧！”
拉登：“我要自首。”
布什：“好啊！欢迎你自首，那坏消息呢？”
拉登：“我开着飞机来自首。”
布什...............
拉登带着他的恐怖分子攻入美国华盛顿，抓了一大批人。
拉登说道：“
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我爱你是真的北港初晴Lv5 初入说偶网 2015-01-25 01:31:57
1. Betty:"I fell last night， unconscious for eight hours."
贝蒂：“我昨晚摔了一跤，昏迷了8个小时。”
Hetty:"How dreadful! Where did you fall?"
赫蒂：“真可怕！你在哪里摔的？”
Betty:"I fell asleep."
贝蒂：“我是在睡梦中。”
2. Tommy:"Are flies good to eat?"
汤米：“苍蝇好吃吗？”
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遮云壑Lv8 初入说偶网 2015-01-22 07:27:24
Three pastors in the south were having lunch in a diner. One said， You know， since summer started I’ve been having trouble with bats in my loft（阁楼） and attic at church. I’ve tried everything----noise， spray， cats----nothing seems to scare them away.
Another said， Yes， me too. I&
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我的温暖似阳光Lv5 初入说偶网 2015-01-21 17:10:37
A Good Boy
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman，" he answered.
"You're a good boy，" said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old wom
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情场烈女Lv5 初入说偶网 2015-01-18 15:28:07
Mr. Henry Beecher entered Plymouth Church one Sunday and found several letters awaiting him. He opened one and found it contained the single word ″Fool″. Quietly and with becoming seriousness he announced to the congregation the fact in these words:
″I have known many an i
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